


Love Hurts

by Demi_jos10



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, It's Baltimore my dudes, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16042853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demi_jos10/pseuds/Demi_jos10
Summary: Soulmate au where you get the same injuries as your soulmate.





	Love Hurts

No one ever bothered to explain to Andrew Doe why he hurt so much. For a long time, all he knew was that sometimes he would start bleeding and he didn't know why. When he's five, he realizes he has a soulmate. At six, he's starting to hate the concept of someone giving him any more pain than he already has. At seven, it's just another way to excuse away the bruises no one believes him about.

By the time he's thirteen, he's written his soulmate off as a useless burden, a weakness he can't afford. He even takes a sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that his soulmate has to feel his pain, too.

He ignores the small voice in the back of his head, grieving for this other child he's never met.

\--------

Nathaniel Wesninski doesn't notice the extra bruises until he's been on the run for almost a year. He's become so fastidious in maintaining the appearance of being completely average that it's hard not to be aware of every mark on his skin and the story behind it, so he knows something's up when crosshatched cuts start showing up on his forearms.

Mary explains what it means, then tells him that he must never let this person know who he is. If he meets his soulmate, he cannot let her know who she is to him, his mother says. He agrees easily, unable to even fathom the idea of someone being worth the pain and the risk of a relationship.

He's long given up hope of being so absolutely known.

\--------

Andrew despises the trip to Millport. It was bad enough Coach decided they should fly out to Arizona, and it's only gotten worse from there. He's ready to write the whole thing off when the recruit makes a run for it. He swings the Exy racket he's holding as hard as he can, glad he finally has something to do with all of his medication-induced energy, and almost doubles over from the sudden pain in his stomach.

It's only years of forced apathy that keeps him from visibly reacting. He files it away for later analysis, deciding to never let this kid see him without his arm bands.

"God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can't have nice things," Coach says. Andrew only registers it because he's used to ignoring pain. "

Oh, Coach. If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?" Andrew answers, but he's barely paying attention to the words coming out of his own mouth.

"He's no use to us if you break him," Coach tries to remind him, as though he's ever been able to make Andrew care.

"You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new," Andrew says. What he doesn't say is that he knows Neil has been hit harder and given less help. What he doesn't say is that he remembers every injury Neil has ever had. What he doesn't say is that he's found his soulmate.

\--------

When Neil picks the lock on Andrew's dorm, Andrew immediately starts running through things he could have done to spark this. When Neil starts yelling at Kevin in French, he starts wondering what Kevin could have possibly done.

It's all rather funny ( ~~ _no it isn't none of this is funny_~~ ) until Kevin pushes Neil into the hall by his throat. Then it's just very hard to breathe. For a moment, Andrew toys with the idea of pulling Kevin off of Neil just to get his damn lungs to work, but Boyd beats him to it.

Andrew steps between Boyd and Kevin without giving himself a chance to get his breath back, ignoring the red ring forming around his neck and Renee's pointed look. No one else notices or comments on it, too focused on the fight that's just barely been avoided.

Andrew eyes Neil in his peripheral vision, looking for a moment of recognition and understanding that never comes.

\--------

After the disaster that was Kathy Ferdinand's show, Andrew makes the mistake of giving himself a rather obvious injury. He doesn't believe in regret, but if he did, he's probably regret putting his hand through one of the dorm windows. He's already resigned himself to gloves and keeping his hand on his pocket when Neil comes into his room before he has a chance to hide his hand. In the split second between the door opening and Neil actually setting him, he makes the ( ~~ _slightly drug fueled_~~ ) decision to see just how oblivious Neil can be.

"You could have destroyed your hand with a stunt like that," Neil says. His own hand is stuffed into the pocket of his jeans.

"Oh my, where would I be then?" Andrew laughs, dismissing Neil's concern.

"Off the team. Where would Kevin be then?" Neil counters, throwing his dismissal back in his face.

Andrew continues questioning Neil, waiting for the moment when Neil puts the pieces together.

It never comes.

\--------

Andrew isn't expecting it when Pig Higgins calls, so he isn't thinking about Neil when he punches a wall to get out of practice. He realizes his mistake almost as soon as he walks out the door, but Neil doesn't follow him out, so he lets it go.

It doesn't come to bite him in the ass until after he gets back from sparring with Renee, when Neil corners him in the stairwell. Andrew figures he had Renee text Matt when they were on the way back, and marks her down as a traitor.

"We're soulmates," Neil says, no bullshit and no hesitation.

"Yep," Andrew answers, popping the p and rocking back on his heels. "Glad you finally figured it out. Maybe now you'll stop trying to get people to hit you."

"You knew?" Neil asks, surprised for all or ten seconds before he replays every interaction they've had and tallies up the shared injuries. "Of course you did. Look, I was serious when I said I don't swing. I don't know if you're expecting anything from this, but nothing's gonna happen."

"That's fine," Andrew laughs. "I don't need to be involved for you to keep Kevin's interest, and that's really all you're here for."

Andrew knows he's lying, knows he's been intrigued by Neil since he first saw him without the haze of drugs, but he won't force Neil to deal with that. It's not like Andrew's ever gotten what he wanted anyway.

\--------

Andrew doesn't really start regretting his choice to allow Neil into his family until Nicky gets a call from Luther.

He knows it will end badly, knows Luther wouldn't cave unless he had an ulterior motive, but he lets Neil convince him anyway. So they go to dinner in Columbia and that's when things start going to shit.

He refused to show it when he sees Drake, but he's panicking. He knows Drake wants Aaron, knows Drake could be a threat to Nicky or Kevin, but Neil's here too. Andrew doesn't have a deal with Neil, but that doesn't mean he'd ever let Drake get his hands on him. So he fights back and he loses and then he just...leaves. it's not until he sees Aaron covered in blood that he comes back.

"Did he touch you?" Is the first thing Andrew says on purpose.

"What did he-" Aaron starts, but that's not an answer to the question Andrew asked, so he cuts him off.

"Answer me. I said, did he touch you?" Andrew repeats, the only time he'll allow himself to ask the same thing twice, because this is too important to be petty about.

"No," Aaron finally answers, and Andrew knows no one else can see it but a knot loosens in his chest.

"I'm going to kill him," Andrew decides, resigning himself to finding a new place to bury Neil should the need arise.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Neil answers from slightly behind him, "he's already dead."

Andrew notes the gash on Neil's forehead, no doubt a result of his own, before dismissing it as irrelevant. "That explains the silence, but that's not who I meant. Look, we don't even have to go anywhere. He'll come right to us."

True enough, Luther comes in seconds later, following Kevin and Nicky. Andrew hates that so many people are seeing him like this, but he knows it's a necessary evil.

It's not until they're back at their own house in Columbia and Andrew knows he's going to Easthaven that he lets himself process what exactly Neil just found out about him, and what he himself found out about Neil.

\--------

Easthaven was its own special kind of hell. Proust was very careful not to leave any marks. He never left any marks, never left any way for Neil to know what was happening. Andrew wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, Neil not knowing.

He still hadn't decided when December rolled around. He's finally decided it's a good thing when Easthaven gets a whole lot worse.

It starts with bruises, the feeling of being beaten to the point he can barely stand. Later, cuts start showing up, staining his shirt red as he watches his wrists tear themselves open on handcuffs he can't see.

The next two weeks pass in a blur of pain. The nurses keep shooting him pitying looks, but he doesn't have the energy to deal with Neil's stupidity, Proust, fading withdrawal, and the nurses right now.

Finally, only a few days before he's scheduled to be released, the pain stops. He spends the last of his stay sleeping whenever he can, exhausted from being woken up at odd hours by a new string of injuries, from knives and fists and exy rackets.

On the last day, less than a week into the new year, he walks into the waiting room to find his brother, his cousin, Kevin and Neil. He dismisses the first three as useless, but pauses to take in the most recent cause of his pain. Eventually he moves on, ready to leave and go back to Fox Tower.

\--------

Things get a but better from there. Neither Andrew nor Neil go completely without injury, but most are from Exy and every day wear and tear. Andrew should have known it would never last, and he was proven right after the match against Binghamton.

He knew something was wrong when Neil didn't come out of the locker room. He knew something was wrong when Neil came out if the locker room, eyes determined until he saw the security team. He knew something was wrong when Neil thanked him ( ~~ _"you were amazing" except he's never been amazing, no one has ever cared_~~ ), the words holding too much weight for a deal they'd made before.

He didn't know what was wrong.

And then a riot breaks out, and Neil's a runner but he's started running back now, so Andrew focuses on the rest of his family, putting Nicky and Aaron and Kevin on the bus, ignoring the elbow in his face and hoping the bruise doesn't make Neil panic.

When it quiets down, he takes stock of the team, scanning the upperclassmen but leaving them to Renee once he knows they won't need a hospital. He counts nine people on the bus, and has to recount twice before it sinks in that Neil is missing.

His first thought, uncharitable as it is, is that Neil really has run, but he knows Neil wouldn't do that without a very good reason, not after having risked this much for his stupid game.

So he gets back out of the bus and starts looking, ignoring Wymack trying to call him back, to keep the team together (the team can't be together until Neil is there where is he where is he where is he).

It isn't until his third circuit of the stadium that he finds Neil's bag and racket, kicked half under some bushes, scuffed and covered in dirt. It isn't until his fifth that they let him search the locker rooms. It isn't until his eighth that he lets Renee talk him into staying put on the bus.

Once he's stationary for more than two minutes, something he hasn't struggled to do since Easthaven, Wymack tells him Neil isn't at any of the local hospitals. Renee has to stand in his way to keep him from getting back off the bus and searching the building again, so he goes and sits in the back of the bus, slouching in his seat and staring at the phone he found in Neil's bag.

He's staring into space, puzzling over the call history in Neil's phone, when he notices the look on Kevin's face. It's the same look he gets when Riko is nearby, but somehow so much worse. Something clicks in his head then, pieces slotting into place and making a picture he doesn't like very much as he realizes Kevin knows something Andrew doesn't.

Silently, Andrew stands and moves up a few rows, dropping down in the seat next to Kevin, close enough to be a threat but not at risk of touching quite yet. He hears the murmured conversations from the front of the bus quiet down, but he ignores it in favor of studying Kevin's face, watching him do everything he can to avoid eye contact.

"What do you know?" Andrew asks, deciding to give Kevin one last chance to come clean before he takes more direct and drastic action.

Kevin doesn't answer at first, looking everywhere but at Andrew before he finally says "Neil told me not to tell anyone. I made a promise."

Andrew's face twists before he can stop it, already on edge and disgusted by the blatant attempt at manipulation.

"If you do not tell me what you know, I am going to kill you. _That_ is a promise," Andrew says, voice rough and low, barely audible but threatening regardless.

"I can't," Kevin says, voice strangled. Andrew knows he's terrified of whatever it is he's hiding but he doesn't care. If it's anywhere close to as bad as Kevin thinks it is, Neil might not be coming back and Andrew can't have that.

Before anyone else can react, Andrew has his hands wrapped around Kevin's throat, squeezing with enough force to bruise but not quite enough to kill- yet. Kevin is clawing at his wrists, blunt nails snagging on the fabric of his arm bands, but he ignores it, forcing Kevin against the wall of the bus and pushing, snarling and shaking off any hands that try to pull him back.

It isn't until Renee, Matt, and Wymack all step between him and Kevin that he stops. He's ready to push past them too when Kevin starts to speak.

"His father is named Nathan Wesninski. He worked for the main branch of the Moriyama family, as Kengo's Butcher. When Neil was ten, he was supposed to be given to Riko to pay off a debt, but his mother took him and ran before it was official. If anyone has Neil, it's him."

The pain starts before he can react to that, distracting him and keeping him from pressing for more. He looks down in time to see the first cut appear on his hand, quickly followed by a second and a third.

Soon his hand is covered in little cuts, and his wrists are marred by a familiar ring of torn skin. He knows the other Foxes are gathered around him, watching, asking questions, but all Andrew can think about is that Neil is handcuffed and facing a knife. For Neil, this is worse than a thousand roofs, is falling, falling, falling without knowing when he's going to hit the ground but knowing it's going to happen and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

Then the first cut appears on his face, a thin line near his eye, running across the bruise on his cheek. And then he burns. He's almost sure his skin is melting and his knees buckle with it, until he's on the floor of the bus, hunched over and almost wheezing with the effort it takes to draw in air past the pain.

He hears Kevin make a strangled sound, sees him bring a hand up to his own face, but he can't think past the fire on one side of his face and the knife on the other. If this was Neil's childhood, Andrew can see why he hates knives so much.

It doesn't end there, with one circle burned on his cheekbone. It grows, then moves to his arms, until he's forced to take his arm bands off just to keep from blacking out, until he can't keep quiet like he learned to so long ago, until he can't think, until he almost blacks out with relief when it finally, blessedly, stops.

The quiet lasts for an hour or so, a time in which Andrew dozes undisturbed in the back seat. He knows it isn't over yet, knows there's more to come, and he can't deal with that and the Foxes' pointless concern.

Andrew wakes with a gasp to the feeling of being thrown into a wall. Nothing happens for several seconds and he thinks it might have just been a transfer from one room to another, but then he feels a cut form on his chest, hot and sharp and staining his shirt. He doesn't bother standing up, which is the only thing that keeps him from falling when he feels the sensation of a boot to his ribs, followed swiftly by a punch to the face.

He braces himself for the torture to restart in earnest, but it never comes. Dimly, he realizes that the bus has started mooving, and Renee is sitting on the very edge of the seat next to him, keeping watch while he can't.

"I think it's over," Andrew says, voice rough and low. Renee looks him over, then nods and moves back to the front of the bus.

A few minutes later, he hears Wymack's phone ring. A short, terse conversation follows, before Wymack pulls over and addresses the team.

"They found Neil."

\--------

They don't get to see Neil until later the next day, in a dingy Super 8 in Baltimore crawling with Feds. Andrew knows the echo is never as bad as the original, but it didn't prepare him for seeing Neil's face in person.

And then he almost loses Neil again, this time to fucking beaurocracy of all things, but the rest of the Foxes hold him tight and don't let him go, force the Feds to bring him back, but Andrew still goes with him, doesn't let Neil out of his sight once until they're back at Fox Tower.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on Tumblr at demi-jos10. Special thanks to Jenn from the discord for beta reading for me even though I ignored her because otherwise this would stay untouched on my phone for another three months.


End file.
